Around a year ago, my son commented that I had a pimple on my forehead. It was true, there was a blemish there that would not go away. You can just spot the growth in the photo, above (center of forehead, about an inch from my hairline). It was a flat, skin-toned growth that grew in diameter.
I finally made an appointment to see a dermatologist, who told me the spot or lesion was a basal cell carcinoma. Hurrying home from the doctor's office I googled the diagnosis. Dumb, dumb, dumb, for the images we're horrifying to me.
Meantime, I went in for surgery, opting to see a plastic surgeon. The photo, below, was taken 8 hours after surgery. Two days later, factoring in the swelling, things looked much worse.
Maybe you are thinking "Mohs! why didn't she do Mohs micrographic surgery?" Mohs surgery was not available in my area of France. Maybe I should have gone to Paris? Too late now...
My doctor mentioned doing "un lambeau" (the form of the incision you see, above). He said he would try to proceed, little by little (removing a bit of skin, then having it tested in the lab next door). But when he arrived to surgery, he learned this would not be possible. To be on the safe side, he took out a larger sample. Imagine my surprise when I woke up from surgery!
This photo was taken ten weeks after surgery. The scar is a bit raised in the center. I continue to massage the tissue, in order to break down the build-up. I am also using a silicon patch, or scar sheet, to help diminish the surgical scar.
The past 10 weeks have been an emotional roller-coaster. To take my mind off of the slow healing surgical wound, I concentrated on a 21-Day book publishing challenge and managed to publish my book Blossoming in Provence! (Take that, Skin Cancer! You don't scare me... I am blossoming!)
(Alas, this was not the end of my experience... While my forehead was healing, I found out that the "spot" on the side of my nose needed to come off. Why had I let it sit there for nearly 4 years?! It turned out to be another basal cell carcinoma (photo of the nose stitches, here). A third spot, on the tip of my nose, was biopsied a year after that, in 2013. Good news this time... it was only a papul.)
Here is a letter I received from Mom, who is determined to "read into" the "H" mark on my forehead (please excuse the ALL CAPS - but you know how Moms can turn emotion into enthusiasm:!)
WE ARE ATTACHED FOREVER BY THE DOUBLE CROSS - WHICH REPRESENTS OUR RELATIONSHIP TO ONE ANOTHER AS WE HOLD HANDS AND FORM THIS LETTER... WHICH STANDS FOR OUR HOLINESS.
I can feel your HOLINESS RUN THROUGH MY FINGERTIPS AS WE FORM THE LETTER 'H' WITH OUR BODIES STANDING FIRM AGAINST EACH WIND THAT BLOWS AGAINST OUR LIFE.
WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE THE SIGN WHICH GOD HAS ALLOWED TO COVER YOUR FOREHEAD YOU WILL KNOW THAT
'H' stands for HOLY and that you are holy in the eyes of GOD (and your MOM).
"H' stands for HEAVEN which is the promise you carry to all from Jesus
'H' represents the state of HEALTH you have received --- because your ears HEAR all that GOD whispers throughout every cell of your body.
WHen you look in the mirror you will see that your are not only cool, but you are now 'HIP'.
Yes - you will automatically smile because you will know deep within your HEART you have a HALARIOUS sense of HUMOR.
What can you say but HALLELUJAH as you notice GOD'S HAND reaching down for your HAND.
This is my gift to you on this special day - September 23, 2011 - God gave me the greatest birthday present today because he has HEALED your HEAD and HEART and joined our HOLY HANDS together forever.
Don' worry - be HAPPY!!
Everyday when you look in the mirror remember God has given all of these wonderful words especially for you and that He has built a HEDGE around you forever to protect you.
p.S. don't forget that your #1 HELPER the HOLY SPIRIT is with you always to guide you, teach you, and comfort you in all things.
I think we should turn this note into a song and HUM it's notes forever to each other. XOXO
An updated photo, taken 4 years after my first surgery. Can you see the scar on my forehead? My dog doesn't care. Here is the most recent photo (scroll down and a look at the scar these days).