tergiverser + pictures of the French island of Porquerolles

The island of Porquerolles is only a 15-minute ferry ride from coast (near Giens and Hyères). More, in today's story column.

tergiverser (tehr-zhee-vehr-say)

    : to hem and haw, to dither

Also: to delay, to procrastinate, to put off, to dally, to shilly-shally or dawdle or linger or tarry...

Audio File: Listen to Jean-Marc pronounce tergiverser and the example sentence, below: Download MP3 or Wav file

Lorsque Jean-Marc m'a invité pour un week-end sur l'île de Porquerolles, j'ai tergiversé. Est-ce qu'on pouvait tout laisser derrière nous? When Jean-Marc invited me for a weekend on the island of Porquerolles, I wavered. Could be leave everything behind us?


A Day in a French Life... by Kristin Espinasse

When Jean-Marc suggested we escape the renovation for a night--and get away to the nearby island of Porquerolles--I hemmed and hawed, unsure about leaving the kids and the dogs behind. 

But when I learned Jackie was invited to stay the weekend at a friend's... and that Max had agreed to look after Braise and Smokey, I began to consider the break Jean-Marc was offering me. In the 7 months since moving houses--and all the decisions and disruptions involved in the process--it could be refreshing to have a change of scene. 

And, after all, I thought, Max would be comfortable in the room where Mom had stayed: it was completely independent of the partly condemned house. He could even invite a friend over for the night (a change from all the party weekends he's been enjoying, away from home).

With our teenagers' encouragements, Jean-Marc and I left just before noon on Saturday. I suggested we visit the village of Bormes les Mimosas, which wasn't too far from the Giens peninsula and La Tour-Fondue, where we would be catching the 15 minute ferry to Porquerolles.

In Bormes les Mimosa we had lunch at Lou Portaou, where we had eaten 18 years before, on our honeymoon. Jean-Marc must have told the waiter the story two or three times and, rather than hush my husband, it occurred to me to rejoice knowing he remembered so much about our lune de miel. 

After lunch, Jean-Marc followed me through the rain as I snapped pictures of one of France's most flowerful villages--only this early in April, many blossoms were still sleeping... if not all of them:

On our way out of Bormes, and not 3 hours after leaving home, we were surprised by a call from our daughter.... Would it be okay if she and her girlfriends slept at the house tonight? Jackie wanted to know.

Hors de question! I growled into our car's speakerphone. But Jackie eventually sweet-talked her way into an agreement. Besides, she informed us, she and her girlfriends were already back at our house....

Noticing my agitation at the unexpected change of events, Jean-Marc suggested we not let this ruin our weekend. "The girls will be fine," he assured me. They could hang out in the safehaven and we could order pizza to be delivered to them for dinner.

Photo: Entering the village along Rue de la Ferme.  Jean-Marc brought his vélo but we realized, later, that it costs more to use your own bike (ferry fees) than to simply rent a bike. (Notice his beloved leather bag... I need to add this one to the sacoche gallery....)

When our boat arrived at the island of Porquerolles we rushed beneath the rain from the little port right to our hotel, less that a 5-minute walk from the dock. Our plan was to relax the first evening, have dinner at the inn, then enjoy a tour of the island on Sunday, when the clear blue skies would return.

It was peaceful to be in an uncluttered room, away from the dust and all the renovation equipment. As it was still cold and rainy out, I slipped off my shoes and got under the bedcovers to rest until dinner. We were unable to get a room facing the sea and the port, but we had a cozy view of the church and the little square.

Taking advantage of the hotel's wifi connection, I logged on to Facebook. I noticed an update from Max posted onto his timeline for his friends to see.

That's strange, I thought, studying the snapshot of Max and his friends, who seemed to be gathered at the house of one of the kids. I shared the information with Jean-Marc, who smiled. "Are you snooping?"

"No! I'm not snooping." I protested.

"You are snooping!" 

Harrumph! My attention returned to the screen, where I studied the picture of Max and his friends, who were gathered on the porch of one of the kids. I began to notice the cigarettes and the alcohol and all the girls....

"They are having a party!" I informed Jean-Marc. That turkey! He was supposed to stay home and take care of the dogs. Instead, he is out somewhere having a party!

I strained my eyes, searching the photo, when a pot of flowers came into view. It seemed the friend's mom had planted the very same trio of purple, white, and yellow primaveras that I had planted...

...and in the same unmistakable cracked pot! 

***
Post note: Returning from the island I found those purple and yellow and white primaveras at the other end of our garden, root side up.  As for the pot, it had disappeared.

As I inspected the front porch and the house, I complained to my daughter. "Well. If I were your brother and I had had a party when my parents were away, I would have done a much better job cleaning up the evidence!"

"But Mom," Jackie complained. "We scrubbed the floors!"

"We?"

***

As for Max's punishment he might pack his toothbrush and join me for the spring cleaning of the Paris catacombs. 

French Vocabulary

la lune de miel = honeymoon

hors de question = out of the question

le vélo = bike 

 
Our hotel room faced the Église Sainte-Anne de Porquerolles. Jean-Marc gave the rest of the morning croissants to the friendly doves... (re the hotel, we stayed at L'Oustau)

The Quai des Pecheurs or Fishermen's dock.

 
Classic wooden Provençal fishing boat, aka le pointu.

Comments

[Kirk Woodyard]

HA! The same thing happened in our house! News of the party went viral way before anyone was using the internet. We'll never know how many were there. Cigaratte butts in the lawn were the giveaway. Culprit turned 36 yesterday.

[Eileen - Charlottesville, VA]

Hi Kristin,
I remember our daughter having a party here when we had gone to DC for the weekend for a friend's birthday. We came home and noticed lots of candles had been burning and some cigarette butts in the grass. My husband keeps a bottle of vodka in the freezer and it was frozen. Funny, alcohol doesn't freeze. Someone had replaced the vodka with some water. Hmmmmmm

[Karen Whitcome - (back from a long break)]

Man. Can we ever really escape? Worry. Worry. Worry. I know all too well - from the times my folks left us kids alone on weekends - that we can't go out on a weekend nights or away for a weekend without my kids putting the word out, pronto. As for me, as a teen, even when we cleaned up so well, there are many tell-tale signs left behind that only a mom can sniff out.

I hope you had a nice change of pace weekend, at least. It looks like a beautiful place by your pretty photos.

[joie in Carmel, Ca.]

The first clue was Max wanting to take care of the dogs, the second clue, Jacquie wanting to now stay at the house. I guess Facebook does have it's merits. And you were not snooping.....anything posted is there for all to see ;-) And look at it this way.....you got the floors scrubbed without asking.

[joie in Carmel, Ca.]

Oh, that island looks absolutely delightful, rain and all.

[Bill in St. Paul]

At 35 and 38 we don't worry about the "children" anymore -now it's their turn when their children start having parties (but probably not for ten years yet). Off to Languedoc for 18 days.

[Kristin Espinasse]

Bill in St Paul, have fun in the Languedoc!

Eileen, too funny about the vodka/water replacement - I got a good laugh.

Karen, LOL, we Moms can sniff out all the cover-ups! But I found I stopped sniffing ... not wanting to know everything.

Joie, I did enjoy the clean floors :-) I also tricked Max, buy telling him we would be home an hour earlier and that he should have my car washed. 

[marcia kazmierski]

Kristin,
Beautiful photos, comme d'habitude!
It's always difficult to leave teens alone, even with their grandfather in the house. My husband and I left our 6 several times; no telling what they pulled over on him!
I visited your St Cecile home with 2 friends in June 2011, Barbara Cheesman and Lorraine Kirkland. Bonne chance with the new adventure.
Marcia Kaz

[JULES GREER - PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO]

Kristi Darling,

Loved your post this morning - so many beautiful photos. I am so happy that Jean-Marc swooped you up and out of the house for a fresh perspective on your life.

I was snooping around Max's Facebook page Saturday night before I went to bed and noticed that at 1 a.m. his time he was posting various photo's of a bunch of happy 18 yr. olds partying away on the French seaside village of St. Cyr ... what a great looking group of young people....and then there was Max, he looked like he had on my Mexican Sombrerro. He definately has my blood running through his veins.

XOXO

MOM

[Marcia Douglas]

My kids have done this too and now they are off on their own. I got very good at sniffing out evidence - bottle caps and liquor bottles hidden in boxes and suitcases in the back of the storage closet. My son still declares I must surely have eyes in the back of my head, lol. Once I found a liquor bottle, I poured it down the drain only to hear cries of despair a week later from one of his friends who left it there. Too bad ;-)

[JeanneRobin]

Following a similar mini-vacation when my two were teens, I found that there was not a single drinking glass anywhere in my home. I never have gotten anyone to tell me what happened to all of them, but my son has confessed to having quickly patched and repainted a hole in one of the walls just as our car was pulling in to the driveway. I then recalled a similar incident of wall patching in my mom's house when I was a teen.

[Melanie]

I love Isle de Porquerolles! I went when I studied at the Universite de Toulon.
tres charmant. thanks for reminding me and for the pictures

[Carolyne]

Hi Kristi: great post we love the island too - see my post from last year http://www.gingerandnutmeg.com/2011/12/cycling-porquerolles

[Lana]

From reading the other posts, it looks like a lot of us have "trusted" our teenagers while we parents took a holiday. My son did the same thing. The kid has the IQ of a genius but he could do some really dumb things. Once I came home after "trusting" my son. My first clue that there had been a party was the rearranged furniture. Then I found some cans of beer in my refrigerator - a brand I never buy. Then the neighbor came over and said "I think your son had a party while you where gone". He was a great kid and now he is a District Attorney. The party was the worst thing he ever did, so I consider myself very lucky.

[Robin]

Ha! I knew the ending when you said you two were going away for the weekend, being a mother of kids 21 & 19...... Silver linings; you had dog care, your kids are good floor cleaners, and cohorts! No snitchy little sister or righteous big brother.....and you got a few relaxing days.

[Pat from Oregon]

Looks like most all of us have experienced 'the parents-are-away' party! I must say that when I read your story today I felt this wave of relief that we are past that part of our lives. That's the beauty of life, it keeps moving forward and giving us new adventures at every turn.

[Christine Webb-Curtis]

On our first trip as a family, we stayed in magical Bormes les Mimosa. While there, we spent a day on L'Ile de Porquerolles, riding around on rented bikes and swimming in the water on the quieter side of the island. What a wonderful day.

Up until retirement, a mounted poster of Bormes les Mimosa sat over my desk. These were some of my fondest memories of that trip. Thanks for bringing them all back.

As for the teenagers, my three boys range from 25 to 42, so you can imagine the prolonged trouble-finding that occurred in our house. I thought the youngest would never grow up! The deal is, however, they are all remarkably kind and lovely adult human beings. You have to trust that yours will be the same.

Glad you had a break from the detritus in your house.

Regards,

Chris

[Randy Welniak Milwaukee,WI USA]

As soon as I read "with our teenager's encouragements" I knew where this was headed.
Another rite of passage-yours & Jean-Marc's-not your children!

[Bill Facker]

Party at JM & Kristins house! Just think of it ... the puppies got a lot of love, your future daughter or son-in-law may have been present, the kids weren't out driving around, and the spriit of youth is now embedded firmly within those walls alongside memories of past festivities. As for the plant ... many is the living being who awoke the next morning feeling uprooted & a bit disoriented ... a cup of coffee, or in this case a pot of fresh dirt, a peaceful corner to recover and all will be well with the world. But most importantly, Max & Jackie are now bona fide celebrities with their friends and your home is most assuredly "the place to be"!

How to curtail this scenerio .. ? Have JM invite everyone over to help with the planting, pruning, and harvest! "Really .. It will be FUN kids!"

Aloha, Bill :-)

[Carrie @ Season It Already!]

Le sud de France, tu me manques! It's been since 1997 that I've been to Bormes and Porquerolles.

And I suspected a party before you even mentioned it. ;-)

[N Vandenberg, San Antonio, Texas]

There are more than dogs in the dog house today. Not having had children, I cannot comment on the appropriate discipline but I know you and JM will figure out a creative way for them to make things right again.

The most important thing I read in todays post was that you got a break from the remodel and in such a beautiful place. Even the rain looked lovely. Oh for a weekend on an island with a ferry ride thrown in! Hope you were able to enjoy it. Have a great Monday.

[Diane Young]

Hard to believe your kids are old enough to have the celebrated party-when-parents-are-gone, isn't it? Well, it had to happen sometime. I would be thankful I was on the Ile rather than at the house with all those kids! I think it's funny that they were naive enough to post stuff on Facebook, never thinking les parents might see them. You're still the smart ones. Lovely photos of your trip, which you definitely deserved.

[Betty]

Why I travel to my kids' houses whenever they need a break. There are liability issues if something should happen. You can trust your kids, but you don't know about all their "friends." Also they owe you a pot & some flowers if they didn't survive.
Glad you could enjoy the beauty, peace & quiet during your short vacation.

[Joan Simon]

You can't know how encouraging it was for me to read of your kids' escapades. Been there too- with some carpet stains ever present as reminders.
Thank you SO much for sharing this with us today. God takes care of me in surprising ways!!

[Joan Simon]

You can't know how encouraging it was for me to read of your kids' escapades. Been there too- with some carpet stains ever present as reminders.
Thank you SO much for sharing this with us today. God takes care of me in surprising ways!!

[Joan Simon]

You can't know how encouraging it was for me to read of your kids' escapades. Been there too- with some carpet stains ever present as reminders.
Thank you SO much for sharing this with us today. God takes care of me in surprising ways!!

[Joan Simon]

I'm so sorry- it said it didn't post!!!

[Joan Simon]

I'm so sorry- it said it didn't post!!!

[[email protected]]

Is it just age appropriate behavior-even in terrific kids-no matter what the country? Good Heavens, my Waterford crystal was in the laundry, cups in the bushes, garbage bag of cans in the potting shed, lacrosse balls in a flower arrangement, and unfamiliar lipstick in my bath...yet, son, Dad, and two golden retrievers all calmly looked at my pink face..."no, really, nothing happened, mom-why?" Grrrrrrr.......

[therese]

Is it just age appropriate behavior-even in terrific kids-no matter what the country? Good Heavens, my Waterford crystal was in the laundry, cups in the bushes, garbage bag of cans in the potting shed, lacrosse balls in a flower arrangement, and unfamiliar lipstick in my bath...yet, son, Dad, and two golden retrievers all calmly looked at my pink face..."no, really, nothing happened, mom-why?" Grrrrrrr.......

[Stacy ~ Sweet Life Farm ~ Applegate, Oregon]

Oh, my Kristi! I am thinking it may be quite some time before Max and Jackie get the chance to have the house to themselves for the night. It would have taken away some of the tranquility of a get-away if I were in your shoes! Still, I am so glad you got the chance to visit such a beautiful place and offer us this story. Life is full of surprises, yes? I so love that you and Jean-Marc shared a meal at the same restaurant you had on your honeymoon. Your photos are lovely; nice to see the promise of spring.

[Stacy ~ Sweet Life Farm ~ Applegate, Oregon]

By the way, a message appeared saying my message did not post and to try again. I see it posted even so. Lovely day to you.

[Kristin Espinasse]

Thank you, Stacy. I see your message, too, and am enjoying all these stories. Thanks for taking the time to post, or to repost, and sorry about the posting glitch. If anyone gets a message, as Stacy did, have a look first to see if your comment was posted.

Time to sleep... Will check these comments in the morning. Bonne nuit!

[Sarah LaBelle near Chicago]

Never tried what your kids did, possibly because my folks never left us home alone overnight. They encouraged us to have parties in our teenage years, and enjoyed the company of our friends. A surprise when I realized it, but a good one.

Possibly not our music, but we played that outdoors.

Your weekend break sounds great. I hope your project does not take forever.

[Sarah LaBelle near Chicago]

Never tried what your kids did, possibly because my folks never left us home alone overnight. They encouraged us to have parties in our teenage years, and enjoyed the company of our friends. A surprise when I realized it, but a good one.

Possibly not our music, but we played that outdoors.

Your weekend break sounds great. I hope your project does not take forever.

taking a few tries to post this note, too.

[Sarah LaBelle near Chicago]

Never tried what your kids did, possibly because my folks never left us home alone overnight. They encouraged us to have parties in our teenage years, and enjoyed the company of our friends. A surprise when I realized it, but a good one.

Possibly not our music, but we played that outdoors.

Your weekend break sounds great. I hope your project does not take forever.

taking a few tries to post this note, too.

[Sarah LaBelle near Chicago]

Never tried what your kids did, possibly because my folks never left us home alone overnight. They encouraged us to have parties in our teenage years, and enjoyed the company of our friends. A surprise when I realized it, but a good one.

Possibly not our music, but we played that outdoors.

Your weekend break sounds great. I hope your project does not take forever.

taking a few tries to post this note, too.

[Sarah LaBelle near Chicago]

Never tried what your kids did, possibly because my folks never left us home alone overnight. They encouraged us to have parties in our teenage years, and enjoyed the company of our friends. A surprise when I realized it, but a good one.

Possibly not our music, but we played that outdoors.

Your weekend break sounds great. I hope your project does not take forever.

taking a few tries to post this note, too.

[Natalia]

Our dear Kristi,
Adorable story today(!!)accompanied by your beautiful pictures!
Such a lovely,peaceful spot for your second lune de miel! And the perfect place for a break from renovations!!
Love, Natalia XO

[Pompadour in the Wasatch]

Kristi: No. You were NOT snooping! You were being a responsible parent. Oh. My. What a terrifying prospect: unattended children having a party. This story is well told. Thank you, Dearie. I'm glad you and your husband were able to get away for a couple of days. Ahhh. Encore une lune de miel. What a joy. I'm assuming you've prepped your children on how to have fun responsibly.... This was a wonderful post. I'm by nature a ditherer. I get to learn a new word. Perfect. La La

[june furey]

Kristi I think its a fact of life that all parents have to face at sometime with their teenage children, "if the cats away the mice will play". Although its over 40 years . I still remember the dismay after returning home from a getaway weekend with my husband. My 16year old son had invited his friends over but I think most of the neighbourhood arrived, by the results of partying. Since then realise given the opportunity most young people relish the delight of having the house to themselves and so lets enjoy. . I guess you have experienced one of the rites of passage of parenthood. I am so happy you had the opportunity to go to the island for the weekend, Bormes les Mimosa was where I had hoped to spend my next holiday in France but alas thats not to be, so thank you for the photos, I am always amazed at the clarity of the photos you post, it almost makes me feel as if I am visiting there myself. Thank you Kristi for all your wonderful stories . ., they are the highlight of my week.
June, Gold Coast Qld

[Carolyn Dahm, Sharon, MA]

Chere Kristin,

So happy you and JM had the chance to get away from it all. The photos are just breathtaking, esp. the first one of the beach. I want to be there picking up all of those interesting shells? or rock? or pottery? What are they? I love all the colors. How wonderful that you had dinner at the same restaurant from your lune de miel. Romance away from renovation!

As for the kids, so happy it was you and not me dealing with that worry (sorry)! Love the idea of all the kids helping with work around the house! ;)

Looking forward to Wed. post!

Caro (my nickname when I was in France-I loved it!)

[Wells Edmundson]

When my neighbor came over to check on on the commotion, she said the party animals scattered like cockroaches. My daughter was a modern day Peter, denying 3 times she had any party designs before we left town. And for years I found tossed beer bottles in the back garden azaleas. You were duped ma cherie, but what a great story for years to come!