Pronunication Blooper & Spring Fever in French
This Morning's Flood, Jean-Marc in the Buff, French Cussing and Visit our Winery April 15th

Back--With Exciting News From France! The Jetaiau Spectrum

Journal-physics
My article in Paris's Journal of Applied Physics. You are viewing the April 1st edition. I stood in line for 8 hours at our local newsstand to obtain copies of this historical printing of yesterday's pivotal discovery of The Jetaieu Spectrum.

Bonjour! It is a pleasure to be back! During my two-week absense, I have had the privilege,
 in connection with France News Media, and physicists from Grenoble and Marseilles, to be able to report on the March 31st discovery that has all of us glued to our televisions. Please take a break from the U.S. media and read my first-hand report from France, which breaks down yesterday's important discovery, one that is already changing the way most of us behave.

Have you recently told a lie? Said you were one place when you were really somewhere else? The Jetaieu Spectrum will reveal more than lies--it is already revealing, live and in technicolor, everything that has ever happened since the beginning of time.  

Today's word: Spectre

    : spectrum

The Historical Past, projected in 3D before your very eyes
Given the exciting news of the existence of The Jetaieu Spectrum, which will enable us to view, via segments of imprinted molecular mass, everything that has ever happened in the history the world, it is both haunting and awe-inspiring to notice the word origin of today's word, "spectrum": spectre or ghost.  
 

Our Transparent Past & Future:
The Jetaieu Spectrum and why you are now undressing before 7 billion humans
    
    by Kristin Espinasse

France is in the news after this week's riveting discovery of The Jetaieu Spectrum. First reported in Paris's award-winning Journal of Physics, by a Franco-American blogger, the March 31st discovery may forever influence or even control human behavior.

Those of us who have been glued to the news for the past 24-hours are beginning to comprehend The Jetaieu Spectrum (TJS). 

Briefly, TJS is the imprinted "film" of history as recorded by the very atoms, molecules, or "fibers" of the atmosphere which have been here, absorbing information, from the beginning of time (according to scientific law, matter can never be created nor destroyed. Absorbant and energetic, it actively collects imprints of all it comes into contact with.) 

Think of how cartoons are created. We have all seen a demonstration of the plate-by-plate pictures that, when quickly flipped, bring to motion so many "prints". Now you understand why everyone is so excited about the Jetaieu Spectrum.

With Jetaieu technology, these molecular "prints", carefully collected and transcribed onto microfiche, are viewable in the same way we see motion pictures - with the visual image projected onto any screen (computer, wall, etc). In a nutshell, we can now view past historic events, in the same way we click on to Youtube to see a video!

To better understand this discovery, I invite you to hold out your arm. Now place an imaginary ruler between your nose and the tip of our outstretched arm. Every trillionth of a millimeter of space between your face and the tip of your finger is a specific, marked location in time and space. Whatever happened--or happens in that precise geolocation is atomically recorded just as light, hitting a leaf, leaves an imprint on the surface below it.  

Up until now we didn't know about those molecular "recordings" that encompass every inch of space around us. Today the scientific community is rushing to reveal the images thanks to the Jetaieu Field Spectrum Lazor, which "slices" through billions of layers of imprinted molecular history, to reveal, for example, just exactly what took place in the very spot where you sit right this moment. Just what existed there 600 years ago?

Thanks to yesterday's breakthrough, you can view that scene live on The Human History Cam! (If you have noticed a lag on the internet, this explains it: currently millions of people are rushing to view these visual recordings. Note: The HH Cam site crashed at 5 a.m. this morning, but is up and running now--splashing everyone's most intimate moments across the internet!)

Are you wrapping your head around this? Light hitting the subject (you, me, the leaf...) records onto these invisible fibers which make up the atmosphere around us. These imprints can never be concealed or erased - according to the laws of physics you cannot obliterate mass. To express it another way, think of this: Big Brother actually exists, in the form of molecular mass that has been recording--filming as it were--our every move (and those of our ancestors) for as long as mass as existed. It's all there, nestled into the topography of photons and electrons!

Pause now and take a moment to think about this molecular footage that scientists are rushing to transcribeIt means that whatever you do, whatever has ever been done by anyone, is and has been recorded from the beginning of time. For scientists it is just a matter of unraveling the imprints, layer by layer, at the exact quadrant along the spectrum or atmospheric field in which they happened.  Seeing these "recordings" has the scientific community racing the globe, to historic sites like Jerusalem--and to a recently discovered knife in yard in California.....

Imagine seeing Jesus walk on water before your very eyes!
Or Eve eating biting into the apple. (And for non-believers, imagine the exact moment when fish began to walk and apes morphed into humans!) Soon--perhaps as early as midnight tonight--all debated events--did OJ kill Nicole? What about the Lockness Monster?--will be viewable to all, once The Jetaieu Spectrum is transferred from molecular imprint to wide-screen for public viewing--something happening as I type this! Meantime, for those of you reading this in your underwear--I suggest you get dressed FOREVER! 

Unless you are reading this in the dark.
After dark (the absence of incriminating photo-transparent light) all historical records stop. Perhaps this explains the natural impulse for thieves to act after dark? Or why some make love at night?)

With the help of a JTA Field Spectrum Lazor, shaped like a paper fish and able to cut through the invisible layers of recorded matter, we can soon see the history of everything that ever happened in a given space. Well, maybe not in our generation, as the process of uncovering the layer of condensed matter is time-consuming (it takes 82 hours to uncover three seconds of history! But technology is changing this very moment and transcription is speeding up--enough for The Human History Web Cam to offer reels of our immediate past to anyone with an internet connection and a computer screen!) 

So if you wanted to see, for example exactly, what I've been up to over the past 12 days since last you heard from me, click on the Human History Cam, enter the date and hour in question and my geolocation at the Institute of Physics in Paris, and even scroll back to whatever scene you want to view. The scene at 6:45 this morning? Maybe not -- I was in the shower! 

This all leads to the great ethical debate: how to erase the information that is recorded--and currently viewable by anyone? 

In the meantime, I will  shower in my underwear--as I did this morning! And I am not too worried about what you will see, when you click on the Human History Cam and locate me. You can even see if my underwear has hearts or ducks or little paper fish--which in France, today, stands for "April Fools!"

I leave you with a soundfile for some of today's French words.

Atomic Love,
Kristi
(French physicist and reporter for a day) 

 

ECOUTE-Listen to Jean-Marc pronounce Jetaieu (je t'ai eu = you've been had) and "poisson d'avril"
Download MP3 or WAV

Je t'ai eu! Poisson d'Avril!
You've been had! April Fools!

  Nectarine
Until the Jetaieu Spectrum is discovered--and it very well may be one day, you can see what I'm doing, image by image, when you follow me at Instagram!


FRENCH CLASSIC NET SHOPPING BAG - made and knit in France!

PARIS METRO CUFF - bracelet and handy map!


TISANES - FRENCH HERBAL TEAS - My family drinks them every night, to help drift off to sleep.

PROVENCE LINENS FOR THE HOME

LAGUIOLE STEAK KNIVES are for sale in many of the local French market stands.

FRENCH KITCHEN TOWELS by Garnier-Thiebaut.

PARIS PEACE T-SHIRT - "so many people have stopped to ask me where I got it" -Betty.

 

A Message from KristiOngoing support from readers like you keeps me writing and publishing this free language journal each week. If you find joy or value in these stories and would like to keep this site going, donating today will help so much. Thank you for being a part of this community and helping me to maintain this site and its newsletter.

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For more online reading: The Lost Gardens: A Story of Two Vineyards and a Sobriety

Comments

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Katia

Kristin, I woke up this morning thinking of your April Fools post from a couple of years ago, about the trip to Paris to clean the catacombs armed with nothing but a toothbrush. With today's post, you have outdone yourself. I loved reading every word of this hilarious advertorial which, as every good lie does, contains witty tidbits of truth (with a nod to social media, which records our every move, imprinting every photo we post forever on some Big Brother-ish memory bank). Merci for the laugh this morning! :)

Sahil

I hate to say it but you definitely got me! I googled Human History Cam...This was one of the best April Fools tricks that has ever been played on me haha.

Be well, Kristin!

joie

Good one, but you didn't get me this year. Even at 3 am!

Eileen

Good one Kristin! :-)

Adeline Richarson Reunion Island

Merci Kristin!!! Le meilleur poisson de la journée!! Grand sourire aux lèvres!
Merci encore et joli weekend.

Patty, with love...

While I did "get it," I so enjoyed your inventive fool de avril joke! D'accord, It is not beyond the realm of spiritual possibility that the Jetaiau Spectrum could exisit!

Some believe in the Akashic records, a compendium of thoughts, events, and emotions believed to be encoded in a non-physical plane of existence known as the astral plane, and certain individuals are said to be able to access these records. I grew up in the church that taught everything I did was seen and known and recorded in The Book of Life, and I would have to answer for it when I passed, hopefully gaining entry to Heaven. After nearly six decades of life in this plane--real or not!--I confess to a preponderence of almost total uncertainty about the whole shebang . It is good to live in a world where we can think differently and find a measure of compatibility among differing beliefs. Sadly, too much of our world is not this way. Today my prayer is the triple thank-you for living freely and ably in the mystery of it all.

(I have been busy over at your previous post, happily reporting my own take on the unfortunate business of the recent visitors chez toi.) Late to the table, again!

Laura Stark

Good one! I needed a good laugh this morning :))

Debra Houston

April Fool's, but you had me for about a minute!

CarolE

Wow, Kristi...I almost jumped to get dressed as I read this one ...You got me for sure!
There may be no machine that can read this but ancient seers have said the Akasic records do exist and some claim to have read them...Lucky for us there are not many seers running around lose these days.
CarolE K
USA

Patience in L.A.

Truly inspired.! Cant believe you just dashed this off. It takes real talent to get it right. I puzzled for a minute at the beginning and then had a good laugh! Thanks 💡🏆

Joanne

Joyeuse poisson d'avril!!!!!!

joie

Brillant topic to use. You did have me the first paragraph and then I said "No, no, this is not right, nor her."

Trina, St. Petersburg, Florida, USA

You didn't get me this year, Kristi! The Journal of Applied Physics reference tipped me off - ha ha. Katia's reference to social media eerily too true - except there, reality can be tweaked; yikes!

Kathleen

This was definitely a good one. If I am not mistaken there are cultures that believe in past experience being inherit in people of the present, unless it was just in a book which I read. Who knows, but you definitely out did yourself.
When I brought up your email, there was not a link for comments to bring us to your web site blog, unless I missed it. There was an Instagram link.
Thanks for reminding me that it is April Fool's Day.

Elise

I would not want such a great April Fools effort go unrewarded so I will share that I followed it all the way down the garden path, including sending message to a friend in Grenoble to see what he knew because I couldn't find any info online :-) Good one!

Kristin Espinasse

Thank you so much for your responses to my story, the idea of which has been on my mind ever since writing the Paris Catacombs story, 2 years ago. Yesterday, I finally sat down and wrote it. Your comments are so appreciated. Merci encore. (P.S. kicking myself for forgetting to add a link to the comments box. Thanks, Kathleen, for the info!)

Chris Allin

Dear Kristi,

You had me going long enough to get really excited about how this could impact my genealogy research!
And then it hit me. I fell completely for your last ruse and this one was starting to feel familiar. It gave me a good laugh!

Joan L.

The Lockness monster? I love it.... Does the Human Cam mean we don't need Facebook any more?

Irene Thomas

I was reading this post to my husband about the huge discovery, and at the Wide Screen I remembered what day it was. Wow, that would have been so amazing! I was disappointed…. What an imagination you have!

Judi

This has to be the best Poisson d'Avril I've ever gotten! You have a wonderful imagination and creative mind - AND, can put that down on paper! So talented! Merci.

Joanne Ablan

Kristin, Now that you've gotten this off your
mind, I'm wondering what's next? This poisson
d'avril is going to be a hard act to follow! Joanne

Judi

I also had no link, not even at the very bottom. Had to type in a url for her blog to get where there was a link. Thought it was just me! :) it's happened a few times. Judi

Jackie

Great April Fools story ! ! ! I do believe you just may have predicted the technology that just might exist in the future too ! ! !

Kristin Espinasse

Thank you for your comments, which I love reading! The flood this morning had so many positives, as you mentioned: clean tile floors, clean cupboard below the sink, an aired out house, further spring cleaning... But the best, was watching and appreciating my very self-reliant husband, who managed to change out the tubing! It's taken years for me to appreciate the fact that Jean-Marc wants to fix things himself. I am so lucky to have him and I am inspired to try to figure things out myself, instead of believing we need a professional each time. There are so many things we can do ourselves, if only we will try!

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